My child is returning to school...now what?

For many of us around the world, next month marks one year since our children were in school.  Some have returned in a hybrid capacity.  Others are in person all day.  But, not one single classroom today looks like it did on March 1, 2020.  My youngest son last stepped foot in a classroom on March 12, 2020.  What will the return to school in March of 2021 look like and most importantly feel like for us as parents and for our children?

Over the past year, our children have asked lots and lots of questions.  They have received as much information as we can provide them. I imagine a conversation such as this:

Child: Why can’t I go to school?

Parent: It is not safe.

Child: Why isn’t it safe?

Parent: Because there is a virus in our world right now that is very dangerous and it is safer for us to stay home and for you to not be in school.

Now, we ask ourselves, how might these conversations change?

Child: Why am I going to school?

Parent: Because it’s been a year and you need to get back in school.

Child: But I thought it wasn’t safe?

Parent: (silence)….

How do we comfort our children and ourselves as they return to school?  Again, I recognize that this looks very different - for some across my community, my state, our country and the world, children were only out of school for a short time.  But, for others, the upcoming weeks will mean the first return, as it is for my son, in almost one year. 

The answer to this is not simple.  And, one short blog post cannot answer this for you.  You, as parents, have to decide a few things.  First, are you comfortable having your child return to school? Second, how do you handle situations and discussions in your family?  So, let’s just say that you are going to have your child return to school.  And, your family typically handles situations as they come up.  This means that if your child asks questions you provide answers and reassurance.  There is just one problem. 

Most, if not all children, have thoughts, questions and worries about the current pandemic.  They have seen the entire world shut down.  No school.  No friends. No trips. No sports. Nothing.  So, we cannot rely on our children to ask questions in order to ease their worries and anxieties.  My suggestion is, well, not so simple.

As you prepare your child for the return, consider the first day of school just prior to Kindergarten.  We helped them understand what the classroom and the school would be like.  We reminded them about good manners and school appropriate behavior.  We put together all of their supplies.  We marked the calendar and maybe even had a back to school celebration with ice cream and maybe even a pool party.

This return to school can be handled in the same way.  We can help our children to understand that they will need to wear a mask at all times, wash their hands quite often, keep their hands to themselves and stay within their bubble to keep their distance from others.  We can remind them of the expectations which may be similar to other situations they have experienced over the last year.  For instance, if they have gone to the grocery store and seen the “stand here” dots on the floor.  Or chairs spaced far apart in church buildings. We will need to remind them of the new expectations with regards to good manners and school appropriate behavior.  We can also put together their supplies for the year,  including a mask (or two or three) and a personal hand sanitizer bottle (cool design ones are available that attach right to backpacks).

Let us not forget that we also need to listen and respond.  Answer questions.  Provide whatever information you have.  Acknowledge the unknowns.  Share with them why you believe that they are safe. If your child has anxiety, find ways to help them cope with the anxiety both in and out of school (more on that coming in the next blog, so stay tuned). If you have anxiety, be sure that you have ways of coping (remember stay tuned) to ensure that your anxiety is not rubbing off on your child.  Do not ignore the big pink elephant in the room.  It’s a real worry for us all so let’s break down the walls of communication and have real conversations about it.

Remember too that professionals, such as those at Hope and Healing Psychotherapy, can work with children, teens, adults and families for a variety of needs including “COVID anxiety”.  Give us a call to chat about your needs and how we can support you, your child and your family continue to navigate the unknown waters of this pandemic.