Grief Responses vs. Grief Reactions

By Sherrye Urtz, LCPC, CBCP

Last month I mentioned that grief is a person's emotional response to any type of loss. Often we may hear the terms grief responses and grief reactions used interchangeably, but are they meant to be?

Grief Reactions: Mourning is an outward expression of grief, including cultural and religious customs (in some cases surrounding a death), but it could be divorce, job loss, moving, friendship, demotion, not getting into the college you wanted, etc . It is also the process of adapting to life after loss. Common grief reactions include difficult feelings, thoughts, physical sensations, and behaviors. These all vary from person to person. Although each person's grief is unique, the experience is shaped by his or her society and culture. Each culture has its own set of beliefs and rituals for grief and bereavement. This affects how people experience and express grief. In American culture, most places of employment give 3-5 days of bereavement leave ONLY after the death of an immediate family member. Does this mean we should not grieve any other loss? How are we to turn off our emotional reactions? Should we stop grieving after 3 days for an immediate family member? Unfortunately, this is not how the heart and brain work. Since grief is an individual process with no time restraints, so too are grief reactions.

Grief Responses: Our responses to grief are really about becoming self-aware. WOW! “Aha” moment here, right? Not really. But it is one of the reasons why mindfulness, spirituality, and/or prayer can play such an impactful role in the healing process. As we become more self-aware, we are able to practice making more conscious and deliberate “responses” to our reactions. What’s important is how we respond to the initial difficult feelings, thoughts, physical sensations, etc.

While grieving a loss is an inevitable part of life, there are ways to help cope with the pain and grief and eventually, find a way to find your new normal and continue moving forward in life.

1. Acknowledge your pain.

2. Accept that grief can trigger many different and unexpected emotions.

3. Understand that your grieving process will be unique to you.

4. Seek out face-to-face support from people who care about you.

5. Support yourself emotionally by taking care of yourself physically.

6. Recognize the difference between grief and depression.

For more information on grief reaction and grief responses visit:

https://whatsyourgrief.com/grief-reactions-vs-grief-responses/